redshifter.org

Sometimes you take Vegas and sometimes Vegas takes you, and this time I took Vegas for it's freakin' papers.

We drove all the way through the desert to Las Vegas, which took about seven hours since the van had to crawl over the Sierra in third gear. We'd pissed off a bunch of motorcyclists at one of the only name-brand gas stations along the way when the van's tank overflowed and spilled gas everywhere. It always does that. We arrived wearily to Sin City, the van coated in dead bugs, but we were ready for a good time, as our show coincided with our friends Donovan and Shauna's wedding. We had a built-in crowd in a foreign town, which any touring band will tell you is a great thing.

Luckily we got a free room upgrade, to a suite, so we were feeling pretty rock star-ish. That feeling wouldn't last. When we arrived at the venue -- and I use that term very loosely -- our spirits were soon dashed. The place was a total loser bar. No stage, no mics, and worst of all, their guy who books bands had no idea we were set to play there that night. He was also plastered drunk. I had to go sit in the van for a spell and keep myself from blowing my top.

We had about fifteen friends on the way to a shitty bar where we wouldn't normally hang out, let alone rock out, the booker was wasted and had a DJ already setting up his gear, and generally things were looking pretty bleak for Chinese Radio. At that moment I had a flash of inspiration: the place where a band like us should play in Las Vegas is the Double Down Saloon, and I decided that we were going to try to play there instead. Major, major long shot, but worth a try.

Dan and I loaded into the van and left Chris behind to hold down the fort. After driving around in a few circles, we found the Double Down and approached the huge, intimidating biker guy who was running the door. He looked like Paul Teutel from American Chopper. As he was checking our IDs, he saw we were from SF and said there were a few bands from San Francisco playing there that night. I raised my eyebrow, figuring now was my chance, and I threw it out there:

"Yeah, um. See, we're a band from San Francisco, and we're on tour, and our Vegas show fell through, and... well, we were wondering if there's any chance that we could play here tonight."

He actually did not throw me out on the spot, surprisingly. The deal was, the band from San Francisco that he'd mentioned was in fact Tim Alexander from Primus' new project. The bouncer told me flat out that our chances were extremely slim, but if we wanted to give it a shot, Tim was hanging out in his car. Since Dan counts Tim as one of his drummer heroes, I threw the ball to him.

We knocked on the the car's window, it rolled down, and there he was. The dude from Primus. I think Dan audibly gasped. Once again:

"Hey Tim... um. We're a band from San Francisco on tour, and our show fell through and we were wondering if it'd be cool with you if we blasted out a quick set tonight."

And then, to our amazement, Tim said, "of course you can."

We stood there slack-jawed. We thanked him about thirty times each, then we went into the frenzy of getting everyone to the Double Down as fast as possible. I re-approached the bouncer guy and told him it was cool with Tim.

"You ain't getting paid," he shot back. "We'll give you five songs. If it goes over, we'll give you a few more." Fine with us. We were psyched. The Double Down was packed.

About a half hour later, it was our time. And we KILLED IT. Probably our best show ever. After every song, the place ERUPTED. It was super, super cool. The big bouncer man (who is the floor manager, I learned) not only called for more songs after our trial five, but he pulled me aside after the show, pretty much demanding that I email them immediately to set up a weekend show. Sure, OK.

Triumphant, redeemed, we left the Double Down to go party in Vegas. I went out and got my ass handed to me in blackjack, only to make it back in roulette, hitting my lucky number 17 five times in one sitting. Not too shabby.

BONUS: Here's some pretty poor-quality footage of us playing in LA. It's the intro thing we do and two songs, "A Letter" and "Could Get Burned." Enjoy. (QuickTime required.)